can love be unwelcome?

Love can come in many forms... Dutifully giving a toffee whenever we meet, caring admonitions, a glance that says so much, an invite for coffee for no reason at all, a chewing gum in the middle of a class in which I'm nodding off to sleep..
The distances and differences are so much, yet there is so much closeness and care. One worries for me, the other dotes on me. And I simply bask in the combined warmth of their affection. Not giving, just selfishly receiving. Because its NOT THEIR affection that I want.
Although it is a manifestation of some kind of love, I don't want it. They both are such wonderful friends, I've never had male friends who actually cared or bothered about me. But I can't reciprocate it to them. ...

Why do I like Billy Joel's songs?

Ther was a certain somebody who had set Billy Joel's numbers as caller tunes....


"In the middle of the naaaiiiiiiiteee.... I go walkin in my sleee-eeee-eeep...."

"Sing us a song, ur the piano man..."

" .....But its still rock and roll to me...."

" We didn't start the fire..."

"O--o---o... uptown girl..."

I dont know where that person is these days and what he's upto. Upto no good...of that I'm soooo sure...